Reading Roars!

Reading FC are far from looking rocky at the moment, but Rocky will soon be looking at Reading from afar.

Celluloid action man Sylvester Stallone has been invited by Everton investor Robert Earl to watch the Toffees take on Reading this Sunday at Goodison Park.

Sly is no stranger to the national game: he played the goalie in 1970s classic Escape to Victory. Especially excited about the visit is Bobby Convey, who said the following to the Evening Post:

It will be pretty good to have Sly there. I have seen all the Rocky films. The character is from Philadelphia where I grew up, and the films are huge in the States. People always run up the stairs at the art museum – like Rocky did when he was training. I have never done that but everyone else did because it was the thing to do. Hopefully I will meet him before the game.

As I’m sure Beckham will next season, but that’s another story.

So altogether now Reading:

Risin’ up - straight to the top,
Had the guts, got the glory…

The Purple Turtle isn’t, some say, what it used to be, but it is still the best bar in town, in my opinion. I have been a regular Turtle goer for half a decade now and have met the most interesting characters there: people of different nationalities, students, suits, goths, goons and girlfriends. It is utterly legendary. Where better, therefore, to spend New Year’s Eve?

Sure enough, on Sunday night the Turtle was hosting a fancy dress competition. Theme? Emergency services. So, there I was, surrounded by paramedics who weren’t paramedics, and women in police uniform who weren’t, well, policewomen. All good fun, of course, but I did wonder whether it was right to have revellers dressed up as emergency services personnel. Maybe I’m getting too old. Anyway, we were informed that 110 had dressed specially for the occasion.

The most bizarre moment, and no true night at the Turtle passes without one, came in the form of a man mysteriously crawling on all fours in the middle of the floor upstairs. As people looked down on him, bewildered, I thought that the guy shuffling about had lost a contact lens or an item of jewellery.

The truth was much more disturbing, and Turtle-like, than that: the poor fellow claimed that he was looking for his two front teeth.

A member of security (or maybe she wasn’t - who was to know?) turned to me and said “Eeurgh. His two front teeth! I won’t be touching those if I find them.” Another member of security (or maybe he wasn’t either) led the toothless customer away. It all reminded me of that classic “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth”.

Happy New Year!

On a day when many of us were nursing headaches (myself included), Reading FC players looked “bright and breezy”, stunningly slotting six past West Ham at the Madejski. Like turkeys one week earlier, the Hammers were truly stuffed.

Brynjar Gunnarsson (12 minutes), Stephen Hunt (15), Leroy Lita (53) and Kevin Doyle (twice; 36, 78) all found themselves on the scoresheet, as did, amusingly, Anton Ferdinand, with an own goal in the 30th minute.

New West Ham manager Alan Curbishely gave the following explanation for the hammering:

Reading had everything that we didn’t. They were full of enthusiasm, pace, shape, aggression, and above all, hunger. They have commitment, they want to be in the Premiership, they want to drive the baby Bentleys. We don’t have anything of that right now. The players have shown me why we are down there. We are very fragile.

The win was Reading’s biggest for over 16 years, and West Ham’s heaviest for more than five. Shame that both sides will probably not meet again for at least another season.