Reading Roars!

Following on from “speciality beers”, we don’t appear to have that many “speciality bars” in Reading (we have mostly yawn-inducing clone bars, as found in most UK cities).  One of the noble few is new Polish bar Gospoda (meaning “restaurant” in Polish) in the heart of Oxford Road’s Polish community.

Gospoda’s interior impressed me.  Its sweet, wooden decor felt rural and homely (a nod to traditional Poland).  Touches such as the immaculately-crafted “stars” at the bar added to the gentle mood.  Gospoda’s charm was attacked by the harsh commentary of Polish club football, shown on the screen, but as an enthusiastic follower of the beautiful game, that didn’t bother me. 

Lunch was a different issue.  Ordering a wooden platter of cold meat for sharing between two, I was expecting something better for £12.50 than the resulting cold streaks of greasy bacon, sliced sausage and a tomato for effect.  The failed chip & pin machine, requiring that I pay in cash only, got things off to a bad start, and service was slow (I saw just two other customers eating, so what was the issue?). 

Food aside, I’d be more than happy to go back (I’m keen on trying the Polish beer).  Gospoda is refreshingly different and a world away from the dive that previously existed in its place.

Nando’s has gone “chic”. The chicken restaurant at Reading’s Oracle Riverside has ditched its fun and friendly personality in favour of one sleek and sombre. On their website, they claim (somewhat incongrously, in my opinion) to be a place for:

people with an appetite for life - people who love to laugh and love to eat. We put the chic into chicken!

Chicken is not “chic”. Chicken is chicken. Boring, humble. Chicken can never be chic.

Nando’s formerly appealed because of two reasons:

• their famous zesty sauces, making fundamentally boring chicken exciting;
• the brand was fun, informal, honest and warm.

Nando’s was a cheerful, colourful and charming place. Now, following the refit, it looks dull, contemporary and pretentious, like most restaurants these days.

I suspect they’ve made a branding cock-up (excuse the pun). I won’t be going back.

I have been reading the terrific book The Undercover Economist. In it, author Tim Harford writes:

When I am in Antwerp, sitting just off the Grote Markt and enjoying a Duvel, I cannot help but feel a little sad that this thrill has been cheapened by its ready availablity in my home city. Of course, when in London - and sober - I can only praise the noble and enterprising merchants who have brough exotic beers such as Duvel, Chimay and Maredsous 10 to my doorstep, and look forward to when they get around to importing Westmalle Trippel as well.

Fortunately, great Belgian beers can be enjoyed in Reading, too. The Retreat, a pub tricky to find and probably one of the town’s best kept secrets, offers the heavily marketed Leffe (an international brand now owned by InBev, who also own Stella, Beck’s, Murphy’s, Boddingtons, Staropramen…) as well as the superior, but less familiar, Trappist ales:

• Orval
• Rochefort 8o
• Duvel
• Chimay Rouge

All of the above come in a branded glass.

As far as I know, The Retreat does not provide chips with mayonnaise, but the crisps (posh and not-so-posh) are nice enough.

Mr Harford, if you are reading this (unlikely), you can have the glorious Westmalle Trippel at The Rake in Borough Market.

Returning to the subject of remarkable products and services (”Purple Cow Picnic: Unperturbed by Starbucks next door“), the Zerodegrees lot are offering speciality beers in two new flavours: passion fruit and honey (looking a little like stale urine but tasting, I’m sure, a whole lot better).

So far, the various novelty beers introduced by Zerodegrees have looked something like:

• Mango
• Raspberry
• Strawberry & Vanilla
• Cinnamon & Apple
• Smokey Lager
• Passion fruit
• Honey

This week, Starbucks, the McDonald’s of the 21st century, did something extraordinary. On Tuesday, its US outlets were closed for 3 hours so that all 135,000 baristas could be retrained. Staff were advised on how to make the perfect espresso, cappuccino and latte.

Customers now entering one of its 7,000+ stores will see the notice “Your drink should be perfect, every time. If not, let us know and we’ll make it right.”

Will they?  I don’t think they can.  Like McDonald’s with their burgers, they can strive for perfection all they like.  Their products range from passable to good, but never great and certainly not “perfect”.

In Starbucks’ world, convenience is king. Starbucks outlets are fast food outlets, quickly producing and selling drinks for impatient customers. A perfectly produced coffee requires the eyes and hands of an artist who can give it attention, time and care.

In addition, I more readily associate Starbucks with overpriced syrupy lattes (with or without ice), not coffee. They don’t simply don’t specialise in the black stuff. The last I checked, Vanilla Latte, so sweet you can hear your teeth fizzle, was listed first in the menu. It wasn’t always thus. A former sales and marketing director at Starbucks explains in The Times (”Foodie at large: The dark art of coffee making“):

“Quality shot up in the Nineties, but the American market has commercialised it,” he says. “It would be difficult to sell a small 6oz cappuccino, the traditional Italian size, for much more money, so to make a viable business out of it, they started to make the drinks bigger. And how do you do that without overdosing everyone on caffeine? You add more and more milk.”

So, no, Starbucks isn’t about the coffee.

If you want “perfect” or near-perfect coffee where small really is small (rather than tall), you will have to look elsewhere (and I don’t mean Costa Coffee, Caffe Nero and other American-style chains).

Monmouth Coffee House, opposite Borough Market in London, is my favourite place for coffee in the country. Their coffee is simply stunning and they even offer free samples (why can’t other places do that?). I also strongly recommend Algerian Coffee Stores, again in London (Old Compton St), a shop that sells a huge variety of coffee beans from around the world.

And closer to home? This afternoon I was in rampant west Reading. The need for caffeine drew me to Workhouse Coffee, a place I have mentioned before.

Owner Greg Costello loves coffee. You can see it in his eyes. He takes his time, gently pouring a cortado like a painter dabbing paint on canvas. Today, he poured me a rich Guatemalan. Intoxicatingly strong and silky smooth, it was a treat. The Brazilian that followed, though less strong, was equally polished. Two other options that I didn’t try this afternoon were Colombian and Ethiopian.

The music playing in the background was a melody of chillout tracks (I believe it was the DAB station Chill), a refreshing change from the usual jazz you get in popular cafes (literally - what is it with coffee shops and jazz?).

Greg was understandably concerned about the opening of the new Tesco store. My suggestion would be to customers of the supermarket: give the in-store Costa a miss - superior coffee can found just across the road!

The Oracle’s Santa Fe is to reopen as Ha! Ha!  Ha ha, I think not.  I liked Santa Fe. I liked its bar and Mexican beers such as Negro Modelo.  I liked its zingy food.  I liked the dramatic backdrop in the Gents of a solitary desert road stretching far into the distance.  I liked the decor.

Above all, I liked Santa Fe as it felt a little bit different (there were, in fact, only 6 in the country).  There are 26 Ha! Ha!s across the country, including another in Reading.  Ha ha!

The Evening Post reported on this news with the headline Town’s eateries are going global.  I don’t see what’s so global about a restaurant pledging to offer dishes that

celebrate the provenance of our country, such as Scottish smoked haddock, Welsh rack of lamb, and prime cut, 21 day aged British beef including rib eye on the bone.

Anyway, good luck to them.

Good luck also to Bella Italia, the “slice of Italian cuisine [that has] also arrived in The Oracle”, joining the slice next door that is Pizza Express, the slices that are Cafe Italia and Caffe Nero several units away and the slice that is Strada, also on the Riverside.  That’s a lot of slices.