Reading Roars!

More train woes.  This morning my First Great Western train to Paddington crawled along the track at an average speed of 50mph, marginally faster than the speed of an Ostrich.  Choo choo! Just to compare, a new super-fast train was unveiled yesterday in France.  The AGV will cruise at a speed of 210 mph and was described by its train maker Alstom as the rail equivalent of the A380 “Superjumbo”.  We, too, have a jumbo: a jumbo mess resulting from rail privatisation.

Services between Reading and Paddington tonight were considerably slower still.  Due to a “fatality in the Burnham area” trains were either delayed or cancelled.  I was seriously contemplating catching the Heathrow Express to the airport then the Rail Air coach back to Reading. Eventually, I was allowed to board the 19:48 train two hours later than scheduled.  Two hours!

What will tomorrow bring?

Brazil is currently enjoying Carnaval. Our dazzling equivalent is the pancake race. Sadly, not everyone’s happy. One town not celebrating this year is Ripon, up North, whose race was cancelled because of (it is alleged) health and safety regulations. I experienced health and safety nonsense myself this morning, when travelling on a First Great Western train.

Stepping on the Paddington-bound train at 08:08, I was surprised to discover an entire coach without passengers. The lights were out, indicating a problem. That didn’t stop a couple of commuters joining the train, who immediately made their way into the carriage to occupy its seats - only to be stopped by an FGW staff member. We were not allowed to enter, we were told, because of “health and safety” due to the lights not working.

We were forced to stand instead. Somewhat bafflingly, this was not deemed a health and safety risk in itself.

As I expected, there were a couple of sardonic comments made by other passengers. No one, however, made the rebellious move of entering the Forbidden Territory. We’re far too polite for that, leading me to believe that this sort of grudging acceptance will take us nowhere. We, myself included, give in too easily.

First Great Western. What’s great about them? Guards on FGW trains have voted to hold a 48 hour strike, prompting the following words on I Hate First Great Western blog:

Sometimes the words “piss-up” and “brewery” come to mind when I think of the way that FGW try to run their bit of the railway. The words “bull” and “china shop” occur to me too, when you look at the way they deal with problems.

Look, we know there aren’t enough trains, the staff morale is low, the tracks need fixing and the stations aren’t big enough. We know all this. We just want you to sort it out. All we can see from our end is the cost of our tickets, and the constant failure to get us from A to B. Surely you can see why we might be as annoyed as the drivers who object to managers driving the trains. My message to First Great Western is take your hands away from your ears and stop shouting “la la la, I can’t hear you”. It’s good to talk, as they say.

Quite.

The same blog received the following comment from More Train Less Strain (”Campaigning for a decent rail service”):

If anyone from Reading or Maidenhead would like to help to coordiante a fare strike on the 28th JAN we want to hear from you. Email tambrose31@yahoo.co.uk.

Why not? The passengers have nothing to lose but their trains.

Much has been said in the papers recently about the rail chaos caused by engineering works and above-inflation increase in rail fares.  Will we (those who pay to use the trains) see improvements in 2008?  Please excuse my pessimism, but I doubt it.  Read the excerpt below from the Thunderer column in The Times.  Sound familiar? It was published 12 months ago:

Talking to the rail operator is getting nowhere. Overcrowding, delays and ever rising fares have left passengers with no option but direct action. It’s time to leap over the ticket barriers, burn our rail passes and send a message that the misery must end.

This is a day of mass protest on the railways in the West Country. The main operator, First Great Western (better known as Late Worst Western or even Sh*te Great Western), seems to have reverted to the post-Hatfield meltdown that all but paralysed the network a few years ago — only this time it is self-inflicted.

Matt is a genius.  Matt Rose, that is.  The Evening Post reports in Cow about that - century of cheer! that, after seeing glum faces in Reading, the 17 year old Reading School student decided to dress as a cow to cheer up 100 members of the public.  After fulfiling requests such as bursting into song while standing at an urinal (very a-moo-sing) and, allegedly, juggling a cactus, Matt completed his challenge on Christmas Eve. 

Many 17 years old bum around all day, scowling or playing on their Wii.  Matt wanted to make a difference by helping to make the nation a happier one (it’s interesting how so many people are perceived to be miserable despite that the UK is the 5th largest economy - this may be because of the growing social divide and rampant empty consumerism).

Matt, if you’re reading this, here is my 2008 wish list that will make me happier still:

• A seat on First Great Western trains.  First Great Western is the second worst train operating company in the UK for punctuality and yet unregulated fares are to rise by an average of 6.1%.  If I’m expected to pay so much then I should, at least, also expect a seat to sit on.   Our rail services (with Network Rail/government also to blame), unfortunately, much like the England football team, are a national disgrace.
• Cleaner streets.  Reading’s streets and waterways are nauseatingly filthy.  The smoking ban has resulted in an increase in fag ends on our pavements.  Vomit and discarded kebabs point to the soaring popularity of Reading’s bars.  In recent weeks, I have seen a teenage girl lob a plastic bottle into the water at The Oracle’s Riverside and joking about it with her mates, and another girl casually drop a bottle of water on the ground near Broad Street. 
• A solution to fix Reading’s traffic congestion.  Or more movement in this direction.  At the moment, the only true city characteristic that the town possesses is the extent of its traffic problems. 
• New ownership of Reading FC.   Madejski has done a formidable job.  Now it’s time for someone with even more bulging pockets to take the club to the next level.

Happy New Year!

Train travel these days isn’t what it used to be (I’m recalling the days of my youth).  Now you have to contend with, famously, the wrong kind of leaves/snow/sun, not actually getting a seat to sit on and scrambling for a good place to stand, and rocketing fares.  Some things never change, however, and that includes bomb scares, for indeed we had them pre-2001, when terrorism was just as real, only less fashionable.

Last weekend Reading Station was evacuated again as a passenger/customer (delete as appropriate) told train guards that she had left an “explosive device” i.e. a bomb on board a carriage.  She allegedly said “We are all going to die.  You will see.  You will all see.”  Technically, her statement was correct as, fortunately, our lives are finite.

Interestingly, the passenger/customer was arrested on suspicion of making false communications, taken to Reading police station “where she was bailed until January 20″.  Other people have not been so lucky.

Time flies when you’re having fun.  Several glorious days in beautiful Prague were spent before I commenced a new job in London, entailing regular rail travel in and out of the capital. 

Very seldom do I get a seat on the train.  Those few occasions (three, I think, out of 20 trips to date) when I was able to sit down were when leaving Paddington in the early evening (and only because I boarded 15 minutes prior to departure).  It makes me wonder, perhaps naively, why another, lesser, class is not introduced, as the reality is that some passengers/customers are not getting Standard Class quality, but sub-standard (or Standing).  Passengers forced to stand in the aisle or, worse, by a toilet, must be feeling very angry indeed.

One angry commuter from the Reading area is responsible for I Hate First Great Western, as far as I’m concerned one of the most important blogs in the Universe.  It’s bold and it’s damning.  If asked to take just one blog with me to a desert island (and I would choose Bora Bora), it would be this one. 

There is another important blog I should mention: In Defence of First Great Western.  This blog is written by a First Great Western insider.  Since the train operator, in my opinion, is woefully bad at communicating with its customers, this blog is a godsend.

Let the blogging battle begin.