Reading Roars!

I’m not a Telegraph reader. I’m more of a Guardian man. But the still-not-very-compact paper’s Footballer’s Wines, written by the ubiqituous Adrian Chiles, is delicious.

Prior to a big game, Chiles writes about the two contesting teams as if they were wine products. Different, and funny. As you might have guessed, the clubs this week getting the vinicultural treatment are Reading and Newcastle.

Interestingly, both Reading FC and Newcastle Utd “wines” are Spanish. This isn’t explained by Chiles. Reading is a red wine (because of the name, we’re told), a Gran Coronas with 85% Cabernet Sauvignon and 15% Tempranillo.

Now for the analysis.

fermentation happens when the sugar from the grapes and yeast react to produce alcohol and carbon dioxide. This gas escapes as quietly as the Royals’ pre-season doubters. Reading’s red grapes were destalked and lightly crushed (breaking the skins to release the juice) before being placed in the fermentation tank, skins and all.

The tank’s temperature is controlled to retain the wine’s aromas and flavours. The escaping carbon dioxide pushes the skins to the surface where they form what’s known as a cap. Just as Steve Coppell seeks to improve things on the pitch with his substitutions, the wine maker agitates or removes the cap to achieve the colour and tannin required in the finished wine.

Chiles helpfully informs us that a Gran Coronas can be bought from the Co-op for £8.99. Curiously, this is twice as expensive as the Newcastle wine, Vina Sol (£4.43). Is Chiles hinting at riches to come? The other interesting thing to note is that “Corona” is the Spanish word for crown!

Let’s hope that Reading return to wining ways against the Magpies (weak, I know).