Jaw dropping encounter at Purple Turtle
The Purple Turtle isn’t, some say, what it used to be, but it is still the best bar in town, in my opinion. I have been a regular Turtle goer for half a decade now and have met the most interesting characters there: people of different nationalities, students, suits, goths, goons and girlfriends. It is utterly legendary. Where better, therefore, to spend New Year’s Eve?
Sure enough, on Sunday night the Turtle was hosting a fancy dress competition. Theme? Emergency services. So, there I was, surrounded by paramedics who weren’t paramedics, and women in police uniform who weren’t, well, policewomen. All good fun, of course, but I did wonder whether it was right to have revellers dressed up as emergency services personnel. Maybe I’m getting too old. Anyway, we were informed that 110 had dressed specially for the occasion.
The most bizarre moment, and no true night at the Turtle passes without one, came in the form of a man mysteriously crawling on all fours in the middle of the floor upstairs. As people looked down on him, bewildered, I thought that the guy shuffling about had lost a contact lens or an item of jewellery.
The truth was much more disturbing, and Turtle-like, than that: the poor fellow claimed that he was looking for his two front teeth.
A member of security (or maybe she wasn’t - who was to know?) turned to me and said “Eeurgh. His two front teeth! I won’t be touching those if I find them.” Another member of security (or maybe he wasn’t either) led the toothless customer away. It all reminded me of that classic “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth”.
Happy New Year!